Okay
by because of the name
Summary: Because this thing that they're so scared to address, it really is dangerously close to love. / Multiple pairings


**Guess who started watching Orphan Black and got their heart completely shattered in the process? Yep, that would me.**

**Multiple pairings. Some angsty fluff in one parts. Some angsty angst in others. Vague descriptions of sex which I am not going to rate as M.**

**No beta, all mistakes are mine. Orphan Black is too perfect to belong to me.**

* * *

Sarah&Cal

She shouldn't be here at all. This isn't her place. She's got too much going around her.

Alison's slowly proceeding on the path of self-destruction. Cosima's trying to hide something from all of them, something bad. Helena's… well, the fact she's alive after clearly being dead is terrifying. Rachel's intents on ruining their lives are becoming blurrier in her mind. And she suspects Mrs S isn't as "on her side" as she's been trying to convince her.

In the middle of it, innocent people that might get hurt.

Art.

Felix.

Kira, her precious baby…

…and him. _Cal._

A bittersweet dream from her past she never quite managed to get over.

"Hey," He gives her a lopsided smile, his hand distractedly ruffling Kira's hair, the sleeping girl's head on his knees, "have some faith in me, _okay_?"

And god, she's got too much going around her but maybe someday this will be her place after all.

* * *

Cosima&Delphine

"I brought food," The blonde announces from the moment she oversteps the threshold, a big box of Dunkin Donuts in her hand. She's got this proud grin on her face which reminds Cosima that despite being a high-level scientist and all, Delphine is one giant dork.

This feels too domestic sometimes and it makes her sick to her stomach. Because it could be true, this could be them everyday. In another life where Delphine wasn't Dr Cormier, working for the DYAD institute, and she wasn't one of the god knows how many results of an illegal experiment, slowly dying from an unknown disease.

"You sure know how to sweep a woman off her feet," Cosima says with a warm voice and Delphine laughs and it's the most attractive thing the clone's ever heard. She tries to laugh too but what comes out of her mouth is a lung-tearing cough instead.

Her whole world spins for a second and in moments like this she's sure she's going to die but Delphine's hand is on her back and she's pressing a tissue to her lips and after spitting a considerable amount of blood, she's able to breathe again.

"It's _okay_. You're okay." Delphine repeats over and over, her arms wrapped around Cosima.

At least she's going to die loved, she thinks.

* * *

Alison&Donnie

She can't even look at him anymore. She can't look at him without the bile rising in her throat and her fingers itching so hard. To hit him. To _kill _him.

Because Oscar and Gemma looking at her fearfully (_Your mom will be gone for a while, guys, she has some issues to work on), _and her neighbors pushing their kids to the other side of the street, and the fact that she faces herself in the mirror and feels disgusted with what she sees – it's all his fault.

"My children hate me." She almost whispers. She's too tired to throw fits now.

"Ali, you did this to yourself." He replies with his fake worried voice and his fake sad eyes and oh my, she _is _going to kill him.

"You made me hate myself," She continues. "But I'm _okay_ with that. Our adorably awkward first date, our first kiss, our first time, our wedding… I can erase those memories. I can erase all the times I felt happy with you from my mind because now I know they meant nothing to you."

"Alison-"

"But you made my own children doubt me, you made them scared for their safety around me, you made them think their mother was incapable of loving them. And this, Donnie, I will never forgive you."

He just stays there gazing at her with big hurt eyes. What an amazing actor. The sad part is she can almost see the man she fell in love with back when she was sixteen.

Her stomach twists and she doesn't even want to hit him anymore. She needs to lie down.

* * *

Sarah&Paul

"Why are you here?" He crosses his arms in front of his chest. To protect himself.

"You know why." She slowly takes one of his hands and tangles their fingers together. To strip him off his armor.

It never worked with her anyway.

His hands are in her hair and hers are quickly unhooking his belt, throwing it across the room. It falls somewhere on the kitchen counter, colliding with a coffee cup and breaking it in the process. Neither of them stops.

Now that he knows Sarah is actually Sarah and not Beth, he wonders how he could have mistaken her for Beth in the first place. They're so _not_ alike. Doesn't matter they have the same face.

Sarah does something with her tongue that makes him see stars. Beth didn't even want to go there.

_Oh sweet god. _Definitely not alike.

"What are we?" He asks several long moments later.

She doesn't reply for a long time.

"We're nothing." She murmurs eventually.

"Are we?" It has to sound challenging, _It's not that I give a shit, just asking out of curiousity. _It doesn't.

"Yeah." She nods, her voice stronger. Then turns around to look at him. "You _okay_ with that?"

He tries to swallow the lump in his throat.

"Sure."

He's not.

* * *

Alison&Beth

She slowly lifts the garment of the carpet and stares at it with disbelief. It's a fuzzy sock. A single fuzzy sock. A singly pink fuzzy sock.

The laughter bubbles up her throat and before she can stop herself, her fingers are furiously dialing a familiar number.

"Hey," Alison says gently from the other side. Beth smiles into the earphone.

"I found the sock you'd been looking for," She informs her instead of a greeting.

"What, really? The one with the little stars on it?" Alison sounds so excited. _Over a sock._

"Yeah," Beth nods before realizing the other woman can't actually see her. "You wanna come get it?"

"You're not even gonna wash it up first?" Alison tries to sound indignant but Beth can easily catch the amused note in her tone.

"Nah. I'll hang it up above my bed and wake up every morning to its sweet, sweet smell." She hears the other woman's _eww _and cracks up giggling.

"You're impossible," Alison's eye roll is practically visible.

"You know you love me," Beth replies without thinking and then freezes on the spot. Alison's breathing hitches on the other side.

Because this thing that they're so scared to address, it really is dangerously close to love.

"Yes." Alison says quietly after the longest silence they've experienced with one another. "I love you." She repeats as if tasting the words on her tongue. "Is that _okay_?"

Beth lets a sigh escape her lips.

"No." _Because you're married. Because I have a boyfriend. Because we're **identical**. _"But I love you too."

* * *

Sarah&Rachel

Her most favorite book is _Pride and Prejudice. _The first time she reads it, she's only eight and she doesn't understand more than half of the book. In fact, she doesn't understand almost anything. But she keeps on reading it over and over again. For years. Until she understands.

Only to find out she's not meant to have a Mr Darcy.

She is destined for much greater things.

Letting Sarah Manning fuck her should not be one of these things but here she is, back uncomfortably pressed against the wall, chanting her clone's name like a proverb, the other woman's fingers buried deep inside her.

"God… damn!" Her teeth bite Sarah's shoulder and her nails desperately dig her back as her orgasm overwhelms her. Her knees betray her and before she realizes, she falls right on her ass.

Sarah doesn't prevent her from falling. She doesn't even help her get up. She just stays, looking at her from above with a derisive sneer.

"You're too easy to knock down, Proclone," She proclaims, still panting. "It's not even fun anymore."

_You are determined to ruin him and make him the contempt of the world._

Rachel leans back her head on the wall.

"Just get out of here, Sarah. Your work is done," She murmurs exhausted.

"With pleasure," Sarah raises her hands in a _chill out _manner and in a moment she's gone.

_Those who do not complain are never pitied__._

She's going to be _okay_. She always is. And she doesn't even need a Mr Darcy.


End file.
